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 15mtsoi's Story Corner

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15mtsoi
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PostSubject: 15mtsoi's Story Corner   Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:57 pm

Hey guys this is just a small thing im gonna post and work on later.

As most of you know, i like to host forumn games and i love to write fantasy-based things, but i HATE having to write in school where they tell you YOU MUST DO THIS AND YOU CANT DO THAT

So anyway i may or may not write some short stories, and if u guys like any of them plz tell me and give it a +rep or something , if you hate it, plz post why and dont just make like a post of 50 curses and stuff.

Ill post first story sometime before i elave for florida =D

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PostSubject: Re: 15mtsoi's Story Corner   Sat Dec 08, 2012 5:32 pm

RAZE

Intro

"Blackjack!" The dealer shouted and the crowd screamed.
I smiled inwardly to myself as i raked in the $10,000.
Why would you bet that much if it wasn't going to be blackjack?
I stood up and started to walk to the cash-out counter when i noticed one of the casinos girls getting rough housed by a Caucasian man.
I took note of the man as i cashed the chips in for money and watched him. As he sat down at a roulette table, i slowly walked up behind him and watched the table.
After ten minutes or so, it became apparent that he was drunk and put all $43,000 on red.
The ball was launched and spun and spun, was it was about to land on red, it abruptly jerked and rolled into black.
I smirked as i put my hand in my pocket and walked away with his mad yells followed me out.
Outside, Jade was waiting for me.
"Judging by the yells, i'm guessing you caused some rich bastard's son to lose some money?" She said as she opened the passenger door to the car.
"Yeah," I replied, "He was being a dick to the local girls,"
I watched her emerald green hair shimmer in the lights and the smirk on her beautiful face as she walked around the car to the driver's side. She looked seventeen but i knew she was twenty one.
I stepped into the car and sat down.
As she started to drive she glanced at me and said "You know you need to be careful when using your powers. They're still out there."
I look out the window at the passing police cars. I remember how they used to make me feel safe, knowing someone was protecting the people. That was sixteen years ago when i was a young adolescent. Now, at twenty two, i know the real truth...
"I know, and they're not going to stop." I responded as we pulled into her five room apartment.
Now, most twenty or so year olds would have pictures of colleges, girls, games, cars, what have you but not us. Our walls were blanked out by newspapers, maps, strings, markers, you name it.
We never stayed in one place but we knew they were there somewhere, and they knew we were alive.
"I got a lead on another Steel agent." She said as she threw me a folder.
I opened it and saw a picture of a middle aged Swedish man.

Name:Zackarias Gustavsson
Age:35
Codename:Eraser

I looked up and raised an eyebrow at Jade. "Eraser? Isn't that kind of Cliché?"
"Thats what i thought too." She responded "Especially for an agency such as theirs.
I looked through some minor details on his previous missions. "You think he's the one?"
She nodded solemnly.
Now I think its time for some explanations here.
During the cold war, the secretary of defense was worried about a breach in security so he moved the president to an underground bunker. He managed to use someone who had plastic surgery to look like the president to keep the people's morale high but it wasn't good enough. For the past seven years, there was a team of expert scientists around the world working on genetically modifying a human to have super-human reflexes using animal genetics. After successfully combining certain genes, they started to see that this new "Species" of humans were far superior in all aspects, from mental to physical attributes, they excelled at almost everything. However, they possessed animal instincts and broke free and lived as norm humans for a couple of hundred years. They're offspring tended to have evolved and more modern powers such as metal manipulation, dimension jumping, etc.
It wasn't long before the government found out about us and developed a branch known as "SteelTrap" to hunt down and kill us.
Most of us stuck together and i was with Jade and a few others. A Steel agent found us and with an army, destroyed everyone except Jade and I. We have spent the last three years searching for the person for revenge.

And when we find him, well, lets say that Jade and I have more unique abilities than most...

-Fin-

Tell me what you guys think if i should continue with this or not =D

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PostSubject: Re: 15mtsoi's Story Corner   Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:46 pm

Well it's hard to tell if you should keep goin' with this. We only get a brief introduction to the main characters, and their "powers". And only a small glimpse of some secret organization they need to deal with. I'mma say continue with this at least for now to see where it goes.

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PostSubject: Re: 15mtsoi's Story Corner   Mon Dec 17, 2012 9:44 pm

Chapter 1

(THIS IS A FLASHBACK)

They say that was made for baseball players to train during the off season.
I think it was just a way for players to get out their aggresion without any harsh legal reprocussions.
As i was kneed in the chest for the fourth time as the other team went for a layup and the foul was called on me, i started to see red.
Another saying but this one partially true.
The other team made both foul shots and cursed at me before running back on defence.
As Jade inbounded the ball, there was only twenty seconds remaining and we were down by ten. No point, i thought as i charged as fast as i could, ramming into their top defender, spinning our and chucking the ball as hard as i could at the nearest defender. Quickly picking up the ball, i ran in for a layup, slamming my fist into one guy as i went up and kicking another one in the balls. The ball rolled in the net as time ran out, the ref calling a foul on me.
"NO SHIT!" I yell at the ref giving him the finger then walking off the court.
Seph stood up from the bleachers and high fived me.
"Don't think that asshole is gonna be able to please his girl with only 2 inches of D." He says with a grin.
I grinned back at him and chugged some (Que Music)

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(The above thing was an inside joke, if you dont know about it, your not on the inside)

Dropping the bottle i line up to high five the other team, which i think is bullshit, knowing they'll try to get back at me.
Being at the back of the line i make it halfway through when the guy who hit me twisted my wrist and threw me at the wall.
I impacted on my feet, twisted around and spun back at him as the whole team turned to fight me.
Adrenaline surging through me and rage fueling me, i yelled and the very metal structure of the gym started to twist and warp.
"SHIT!" I heard Jax yell "GET HIM UNDER CONTROL BEFORE HE KILLS SOMEONE!"
I spun and punched the first person next to me who happened to be the point guard for the other team. My fist went through his ribcage and he launched all the way to half court screaming in pain.
"TOO LATE BITCHES!" I roar in truimph as i drop to all fours, and leap toward the next person in line. My arms are literally gleaming chrome as i claw his face to shreds. I hear screaming and the screech of metal twisting. I hear Jade yell something as i plunged my arm into 2 more, then blacking out.


I woke up chained to a bed with my parents next to me talking in hushed tones to the doctor. I noticed armed SWAT men standing outside. I feigned uncounsiousness as i listened to what they were saying.
"His abilities have gone out of control," I heard the doctor say. "We need to keep him under medication or risk another outbreak."
"Nonsense. When you came to us proposing this experiment we were given the choice on how to treat him." I heard my dad say.
Experiment? I thought. My parents did THIS to me??!?!
"Im sure we will be able to tame and raise him accurately." My mom responded.
At this point i was starting to feel rage building up inside me. My PARENTS caused this??!?
My eyes snapped open and i yelled, breaking free of the chains and grabbing my dads neck, pinning him to the wall and causing a dent to it.
"YOU DID THIS TO ME?!?!" I roared as the doctor and my mom fell down in shock. The SWAT's men's guns trained on me.
"Now listen hear boy," my dad responded. "Your mother and I made this choice for the best, its better for al-"
"BETTER FOR WHO? YOU?! HOW MUCH DID YOU GET PAID? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT I GO THROUGH ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS!!!"
"Honey, its for the best, just let your father go and," my mom said as she laid a hand on my shoulder.
I roared and swung my fist back, cracking her jaw and killing her. Her lifeless corpse flying into the wall. I rip my father's throat out and throw his body at the doctor, who is crushed by his weight.
I turn to the SWAT men and as they raise their guns at me and open fire, the bullets jerk in midair, twist, and go straight into their face. They drop dead and i bust a hole in the wall and run off into the streets.
2 hours later i found Jade, Jax, Seph, and Michael waiting for me at out usual hideout.
"Well," Jax started, "So much for secrecy."
"Fuck secrecy," I panted, winded from the hour run, "I need to tell you something."
I relate my tale of what the doctor told my parents and they snarled at the realization that their parents were probably in on this too.
"So we take revenge on our parents then what?" Demanded Michael angrilly as his hands started to turn a scarlet red and he smelled burnt flesh.
Jade, always the most level-headed one of us all responded in a calm, cool voice
"We find out why they did this to us, then we work from there."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tell me what you think guys =D

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Last edited by 15mtsoi on Fri Dec 21, 2012 10:40 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: 15mtsoi's Story Corner   Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:25 pm

so this is what you do during class?

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PostSubject: Re: 15mtsoi's Story Corner   Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:47 pm

LOL
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