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 Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff

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15mtsoi
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PostSubject: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Tue Dec 18, 2012 2:41 pm

I had a stroke of realization today when iw as listening to the 100000000 Jewish faggots in my school bitch about the size of their iPhones or something.

(No offense to any jews on the server)
U know how jews always complain about shit? What if Auswitz was a REALLY bad hotel?

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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:31 pm

Or if Hitler was actually a nice guy, and he just fucking wanted meat, but instead gets kosher shit.
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Tue Dec 18, 2012 5:41 pm

“He went extinct for your sins to save you from Satanasaurus Rex”
~ Cretaceous 3:27

“Beware the VelociRapture and the second coming of Raptor Jesus...”
~ Crazy Religious Drunk

“The Corinthians' third letter to Raptor Jesus came back slashed and stained with blood.”
~ The DiploPope

Raptor Jesus roamed the Earth circa 90,000,000-65,000,000 BHC (Before Human Christ). He was born when God Himself was still only a teenager. His execution is thought to be the cause of the extinction of the dinosaurs, as God was mad at the Romans for aiding in His son's death twice. He earned a bachelor's degree in microelectronic engineering at RIT. Raptor Jesus went on to earn his PhD in aerospace engineering at Texas A&M University. Later, Raptor Jesus got bored, so he went on to receive his CPA certification in the state of New Jersey. His academic career was constantly challenged by his ladysmanship. He is now working in Hooters and will soon be the manager in a later period. He aspires to retire to El Paso, Texas, where he may consider opening a crochet supply boutique with an elderly prostitute.
Contents
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edit History

During the Mesozoic era, God went through an experimental Scales phase, similar to Picasso's Blue period. Rather than making beings in his own image, he populated the Earth with giant lumbering reptiles. Other scriptures such as the Dead Primordial Sea scrolls suggest that God was actually a dinosaur during his teens, and was the true inspiration for Godzilla.
Get back sheep....

While known to themselves as "Giant Awesomes", dinosaurs kept no written records, so scientists did not learn their real name until modern technology made it possible to read their fossilized minds. At first, the dinosaurs rampaged at will, eating each other, stepping on houses, and generally causing major property damage. God was forced to intervene when His mother found out about the world He had created, and ordered Him to "clean up this mess before your father gets home."
Unwilling to enter His world, God created Raptor Jesus. Raptor Jesus's primary role on Earth was to convert the dinosaurs from the paganistic theory of Evolution by fostering a new belief in Intelligent Design. Opponents of his theory, primarily the Romans, viciously attacked Him and His followers, condemning them to extinction via PBS.
Raptor Jesus said unto thee: Accept me into your succulent hearts... or I shall tear them out, In peace.
edit The Miracles of Raptor Jesus

God had originally intended Raptor Jesus to simply preach to his fellow dinosaurs, however his early doctrine consisted mostly of low production value skits and rewrites of Metallica songs. In order to impress the dinosaur brethren in higher numbers, God's Secretary of Divine Intervention, Triceratops Goldbaum (82,000,048 BHC-82,000,041 BHC) granted Raptor Jesus the ability to perform miracles with a temporary license, based on his fantastically low credit score and W-2. The following year, Raptor Jesus overnight built an entire town of self sustaining low income subsidized housing for his followers. He was hailed a saint by Dinosaur Greenpeace, and that night held a feast of 1,000 souls. During the feast, Raptor Jesus raped an amputee with the sole purpose of having her spawn new limbs. However, although she did gain new limbs, she remained paralyzed in all of them, after all he was just one raptor. Raptor Jesus has also been credited with the ability to turn water into factory fresh Diet Fresca™. Further miracles are still attributed to Raptor Jesus to this day. It has been proven that people suffering from cancer who call of Raptor Jesus experience momentary feelings of health. Chuck Norris calls on Raptor Jesus to give him his strength in every roundhouse kick he preforms.
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:52 pm

Should this really be a topic. All we are doing is promoting and making a joke of intolerance.
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:00 pm

2zacky wrote:
Should this really be a topic. All we are doing is promoting and making a joke of intolerance.
This is best topic ever.
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:20 pm

World Record Material
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:25 pm

we used to have a rule that said no racism. used to.

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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:49 pm

You cant have no racism as long as im alive xD

"The straight jacket was used in the 18th century to host tournaments in which up to 6 people were put in straight jackets. The first one to break free of the straightjacket would be awarded the horn of unicorn. This game eventually became so popular, it led to the extinction of the unicorn race." -Me

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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:22 pm

So an Asian a black and a white guy are all in a car when a gay cop pulls then over. The cop says "Ill let you go if all three of your dicks combined are 15 inches or more." So the black guy pulls out his cock, it's 8 inches. The white guy pulls out his cock, it's 6 inches. And finally the Asian guy pulls out his cock, it's 2 inches. The cop lets them go. After he's gone the black guy says "You're lucky my dick is sobig" the white guy says "No you're lucky my dick is so big" then the Asian says "Bitch please, you're both lucky I had a boner!"
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Thu Dec 20, 2012 1:33 am

Wes thats what the unicorn race wants you to think. They are still alive just lesser in numbers.
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:50 am

RackOlamb wrote:
Wes thats what the unicorn race wants you to think. They are still alive just lesser in numbers.
Speaking of Unicorns, i saw one named vivek in my backyard.
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Thu Dec 20, 2012 5:12 pm

named vivek? IT HAD A COLLAR!??!?!?
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PostSubject: Re: Retarted/Racist/Any Theories About Stuff   Mon Dec 24, 2012 11:40 pm

Niggers eat chicken
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